WOW life with a newborn

It's harder than I remember. Not sure if I just forget or if Soleil is an especially difficult newborn. She doesn't sleep much, especially during the day. If her longest nap is 20 minutes we are lucky. Today she fell asleep on our bed so I started to make play dough with Finn. Of course as the water and salt mixture were getting hot Soleil woke up. We rushed through the rest of the dough while she fussed on my hip. Good times! Thankfully Finn (and the other two boys) had fun playing with the dough after it cooled. The rest of the day was spent trying to get Soleil to sleep, which doesn't leave a lot of time for the other kids. The older kids do keep themselves occupied most of the day but interacting with them seems like a thing of the past these days. Now it is 9pm and Soleil is still awake. She'll probably go to sleep in about 20 or 30 mins for the night but fuck I'm tired! Tired of walking and rocking, tired of being screamed at when I am doing all that I can to help her and tired of neglecting my other four children. They are all in bed now. Maybe tomorrow we can spend some time together? Or maybe Soleil will dominate my attention tomorrow, probably more likely. This too shall pass, I know but it's really fucking difficult while it's going on!